An open letter to the person i used to date.

First and foremost there are a few that i have dated but i feel like i need to write about this one for some reason. Don’t worry i promise you it will be as short as possible without any possible rant ok maybe some.. And perhaps this also goes out to all the people i have went out on dates/dated in general that didn’t work out i guess.. Plus/Minus the ex.

okay here we go.

Firstly thank you,

For all the gestures that you have made and proved yourself to be an absolute gentleman. from holding the door for me, to dressing up and putting on nice clothes for me even if it was just for a few hours, to paying for my meal even when i specifically told you that you didn’t have to and for buying me coffees and opening up and telling me more about yourself. It must be very hard for you to open up about exes and dating oh and about sex too.

Thank you for making me think that i deserved the best even though I know i don’t. For all the times you’ve called me beautiful and said i have a lovely smile. You made me felt like i could trust you and let you in after being hurt and getting too attached to people way too many times. You reassured me that I was special even though i’m just ordinary. thanks for that, i knew that i could count on you. or at least i thought i could.

Secondly, Fuck you.

Fuck you for disappearing without a trace and leaving,Letting conversations die and not giving a damn anymore. I know i’m guilty for doing this to my ex so i’m sorry as well. I thought i could trust once more and be happy once again but Thanks for proving that you’re nothing but a liar and a fake. A person who should absolutely be ashamed of himself for saying he is nothing like the rest of the guys out there.

You are nothing but a coward. you cant even text or say things to my face but instead you avoid and block me within an hour of accepting my friend request from months ago.  As if i wouldn’t notice. I didn’t even get a proper closure or goodbye i don’t understand why. you simply just stopped replying.

Well, whatever the case is i just hope you’re happy where ever you are and that someday this will come back to bite you and that you will feel guilty for making a woman feel so secure only to let her down in the end. please don’t come back here ever. you have destroyed the reputations of how an actual gentleman should be and you probably shouldn’t even call yourself one because of how you acted. You’re not a gentleman you’re still a child.

Thanks for nothing sir.

 

Anchors Aweigh/Receptionist life

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yo i haven’t written anything in a month, i apologise. I’ve been so so swamped with work lately and i dont really know what to write anymore/lost interest or simply cant find the time. 😦 Anyway, Just thought i’d write something tiny before going back to work.

I recently just started a new job at a hostel called Rucksack Inn and may i add that it is simply one of those jobs that isnt me but man i love it! I mean apart form sitting at the desk all day waiting for people to check in etc and doing plain old boring paperwork stuff I get to meet lotsa travellers passing by Singapore and its pretty cool! I get to tell them what to do and stuff. haha i love it and i love meeting new people so its like a dream job for me 😛 Plus i get to show them to their dorms/pod beds and a bunch of them said they really like my tattoos.

The hostel is pretty dope. I’ll snap some photos and edit/update this post or maybe even write a new post about it altogether soon!

Yea anyway ideally i dont wanna do this for the rest of my life but for now it kinda gets me going just until i sort my life out for what i wanna do after i graduate. Besides, this job will help fund my trip to Europe! 😀

fuckyea guys Europe is totally happening once i get my first pay check in April im buying tickets to London! im so keen i cant wait to start traveling again! Especially since im not going back to Melbourne anytime soon and finally a new place to visit ya know. New experiences once more. I’ve been dying to go to London and its been on my bucket list for ages so im finally gonna fulfill it!!

Im hoping the couchsurfing community there is cool as well and fingers crossed i find a pretty rad host to host me so he/she can tell me all those secret & less touristy spots. Im just a little afraid something bad might happen along the way so im a lil concerned about my safety oh and especially since im so shit with my finances and spending (lol). i really need to save proper and stop spending money on drinking. hah.

Anyway, apart from saving up for Europe and hectic school life AND MY MAC ALMOST CRASHING ON ME AND LOSING ALL MY GOD DAMN WORK FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS…. thankfully i restored it. Bless the apple gods.

i recently also got to catch up with a friend from the US navy. Someone who i havent seen in close to a year as well because you know navy life and all plus we lost contact/stopped talking since i got together with Leigh. But hey we recently reconnected again because he had a stopover in Singapore once more and the last time this happened was in May 2015 just before i went to Melbourne and we met on his last day. It was a pretty rad weekend considering i was so depressed with my mac/submissions but he made it a whole lot sweeter. PLUS HE HAS A BRAND NEW TATTOO. I LOVE BRAND NEW SO MUCH AND HE HAS IT TATTOOED ON HIS ARM<3. Like as if his sleeve tattoos arent pretty enough already. anyway i was their unofficial tour guide! Well Mostly just drinking at bars though but i made them try local food and they loved it. 😛 Not to mention he bought me a rose so that was really sweet of him. I just wished he could have stayed longer but hey duty calls…

I now have nothing to look forward to again and it was awful how he left and how i may never ever see him again coz hes getting out of the navy in a few months 😦 blah feelings suck anyway.. i just hope i get to see him in the states someday and we’re reunited again but i dont know when that will ever be. :/

Dont you just hate the feeling of when you start to get attached to someone you really like but you tell yourself not to coz you dont wanna fuck up anything or you just dont wanna get hurt and shit like that. Yea..that might have happened to me twice now or maybe even more. I will never learn. like a mate said the other day “You don’t have any luck with dudes being around for long.” Or more like i choose to be the idiot. hah oh well life goes on i suppose.

Oh would you look at that i have written a lot more than i should have and i should be focusing on writing my journal instead. well done natalie.

Well i must be going. The next update from me will probably be when im done with final assessments in April and freedom/adulthood awaits. i am not prepared at all(physically and mentally not prepared) and frankly i am quite scared. But i’ll just wing it i suppose.

Dont i always do that anyway?

xx

Natalie.

Unify 2016 ; 2nd year in a row.

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I’ve been procrastinating a lot lately regarding this blog post but i promise i will finish it now before it sits in my drafts forever. haha.

Anyway, Here’s my day/mini review at Unify 2016.

what can i say?! another great year indeed. Parkway Drive was fucking mental! This year saw even more people at Tarwin compared to last year with an additional 2000 people making it a total of 5000 instead of 3000. Personally i thought they should have just sticked to 3000 because not only was it jammed packed, however there were more idiots than usual.

There was one instant where i was tryna find my tent and then these bunch of stupid guys were buggering me and pestering me to get some smokes off them when i already had my own. urgh It was also quite stupid because i was about to light up my cigg well fuck off cunts. There was another instant where more idiots were like saying all these weird greetings to me like “konichiwa” “ni hao” and shit like that just coz im asian like as if i dont understand english. dudes english is my first language. urgh cunts.

Anyway, got there later than usual actually as Dimi had to pick up our mate Christine and then we had to camp at the back area compared to last year when we were pretty close to the entrance. Doesnt matter though, i was pretty pumped and was already sipping on beers. $30 for 30 cans of beers,well worth it. Not only did i get pretty drunk but i also had an anxiety attack which caused me to miss out on Stray from the path & Tonight Alive and my new friend Braedy had to calm me down. fml. Thanks for calming me down and chatting with me Braedy! i will forever be in debt to you haha. Plus it was fucking freezing by the time the sun set and it was scotching hot all day. fuckin hell aus…. Also, Me and braedy were talking about how we got into heavy music all while he was tryna calm me down and all of a sudden a head pops up out of nowhere in one of those sleeping tents as we were talking and this random bloke said “Crafters big shiny head” answering our question. hahaha man that was funny..

But yea, wish i caught more bands though. i was so tired from all the drinking,walking around in the campsite and going from different tents  to meet people and see all my friends.

In hearts wake was pretty damn solid once more considering they played for the second year in a row. haha i cant keep count of how many times i’ve seen them play already. probably 4/5 times? I dont think i can ever get sick of them play honestly. This one was one of their best among the others even though i was all the way at the back and didnt mosh and had just recovered from the attack. oh well. my mates from Ocean Grove played this year as well and i got to crowdsurf during their set. haha it was pretty hectic. Wanted to see Void Of Vision so bad but i got caught up with things and ended up only seeing like 30 seconds of it. bummer..  anyway.

Day 2 saw everyone being seedy and stuff as always. haha so much pop punk though as neck deep & state champs were headlining the next day. The sun was scotching hot and when state champs were playing me and zac just sat down in the tent because it was wayyyyy too hot to be doing anything. thats okay though saw state champs 3 times already including unify haha. met some lads from Sydney courtesy of Shah the next day as well because i was just chillin in their area while most of the campsite was already packed and everyone was leaving. Eventually left at like 2pm when neck deep was playing coz ceeebs seeing them and tired as fuck.

Here are photos with friends & bands playing. Overall it was a pretty sick time excluding a few things and i look forward to the 3rd year. Again i wish i took more photos of bands.

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Thank you Unify for a sick time with sick friends!

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xo

Happy Valentines Day!

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Hello fellow readers, i know valentines day is almost over here in singapore but it still counts in other parts of the world so im just gonna post this anyway :). (p.s im slightly drunk on gin, i apologise for the spelling errors of grammar if i encounter some. ill explain why laterrrrrrr and ill keep it short and update more proper later. lol ) 

i have another post saved in my drafts about unify 2016 & another one on my recent trip to melbourne as well.. i should prolly update and post it up soon….

But anyway, happy valentines to all! i hope you guys had a good one because i sure as hell did!

and i didnt even need no valentine to celebrate with! HAH IN UR FACE VALENTINES DAY! but yea this year’s one kicked last years & the last 3 years one in the ass.  (Except for the fact that i met Vic Fuentes and the whole pierce the veil gang in 2013 and vic wrote “i<3u” on my polaroid with him haha) other than that fuckyea i never felt happier! valentines is a piece of shit anyway haha.

The last few years that happened on valentines day was shitty with 2015 being working at a festival from 8am till like late night.. and the year before in 2014 where i had just broken up with my ex from melb/sg/my in January and going clubbing here in singapore (LOL) which i never went to in my life and I went to Zouk and made out with some random german or french guy idk…

ANYWAY MOVING ON….

This year was great. I got watch Dead pool in the cinemas with C. and he didnt even know it was valentines day today. how funny. but yea in case you guys dont know who he is, hes the brit guy i met almost a year ago and we always went out for burgers and stuff. How cute haha. but yea it wasnt a date or anything but he was back in town for awhile so we decided to watch dead pool and holy shit the movie was a solid 10/10 man. like im not a fan of superhero movies but damn this was one of the best!!! the sex jokes and the amount of violence. HOLY SHIT! YOU GUYS NEED TO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVENT IT IS SOOOOO GOOOOOD.

After the movie he had to go so i went to fat boys by myself and had burgers. yummmmm. i felt sick after tho coz i havent had meat in ages…. i had a tattoo appointment after and Olivia cancelled on me so i got my usual artist Jerome to do a candy heart for me coz ay it was valentines why not hey!!! say hello to tattoo #8 woohoo. Im so happy with it YAY.

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After my tatt, i went to find nathan and shit coz he was enlisting into the army soon (in singapore every male has to serve the nation for 2 years) and i bought a bottle of gin for $50 woohoo! quality bombay gin im not even sorry i bought it! haha.

Overall this year’s valentines kicked all the other single years/attached ones. Deadpool>burgers>tattoos>ginnnnnn.

I dont need no men in my life to be happy yay!

 

Alright, time to end this post before i write anymore weird stuff..

Thanks for viewing my blog whoever you are! I promise i will update this post into a better one when im more sober and post about Unify & Melbourne soon!

 

XOXO

2016. New hopes,dreams & resolutions.

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Happy new year readers, friends, stalkers and lovely souls.

I hope 2016 is treating you great so far! mine has been swell. In fact i met a very nice gentleman and went on my first date of the year just yesterday. I’ll post a separate post about the date in the next few days. But yea, Im sure everyone has the whole New year, new me and resolutions kinda thing. And we all know that they can be a pain because everyone never really sticks by it.But this year i thought i would make one and just only one. I know that its tough but im sure i will pursue it.

Wanna know what it is? Here it goes.

Happiness.

Sounds stupid but yea i figured this year i just want to allow myself to be happy. I never truly was or allowed myself to be happy idk why. Every time something good happens, something bad comes along with it or it never truly lasts. Perhaps its time for a change. This year will definitely see things differently. I have a lot going on that i should be proud of or about to accomplish so im pretty stoked about that and im gonna travel! traveling makes me happy so that is a great start. No more negative vibes and bad bloods anymore. Just good and positive vibes all around only! I’ve learned that you cant please everyone and that you should just be yourself you know. So yeap im slowly beginning to accept a lot of things and im so thankful for the lord.

Anyway, In May 2016 I intend to or will travel to a bunch of countries such as Amsterdam, London & Germany. These are a few that i would like to lock down for when i finish my last semester in Mid April. Always wanted to visit Europe/London so thats in my bucket list and its finally gonna get checked!! My main intention is to go for a few festivals there like Rock Am Ring & to visit all my german friends! Might even drop by Brussels & maybe Prague too depending on money and stuff. But yea so far the plan WAS London first then Amsterdam but flights to Amsterdam are cheaper so i might do this route instead.

Amsterdam>London>Amsterdam>(brussels?)>Cologne>(Frankfurt/Stuttgart?)>Munich>(Prague?)>Berlin>Singapore.

I dont know anything about Europe so if you have any ideas on my routes/what to do & where to go please comment on here!!

Fingers crossed my friends are nice enough to host me or i find lovely people on couchsurfing who are willing to guide me & let me stay with them. So sort of like a Graduation trip & early grad present to myself. So excited this will be the first time im backpacking or flying solo to any other country beside Australia. And yes. I am also graduating this year and in about 4 months i will be done with school and be awarded with a diploma! I also turn 21 this year so im no longer a child and will be wearing a gown & throw my hat in September.

OH! i almost forgot, Im flying back to Melbourne next week as well to see my friends & to go for UNIFY festival 2016!

In short 2016 is a time for change.

Melbourne next week, end of my final semester in April, Europe trip in may hopefully, 21 in july & Graduation in September.

Wow big things to look ahead this year. Bring it on!

xo

Natalie.

Hollow as fuck

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I havent been writing in awhile, i apologise. (i had this post on draft for the last 3 days. thought i’ll just finish it)

i thought i had my whole life in place over the holidays with my internship and getting my whole life back together again after the break up. but nah things went downhill again. as usual… whats new natalie whats new? everytime something good happens it falls through once again.

i have nothing good happening in my life right now this feels awful as fuck. fml. no job, no money, no boyfriend, no life. wow its no wonder i have been drinking a lot for the last few weeks. (god bless my liver really).

I’ve met a bunch of dudes and been on dates and such but yea nothing going on really. Or rather no progression idk why. jumped on tinder a couple of times and then i realise how much i hated it in the first place. it was just filled with creepers and weirdos and white guys looking to get laid half the time. lol why bother. i just get bored and occasionally swipe(mostly left) all the time coz its fun and i ilke to analyse profiles.

idk im pretty sick and tired of dating. i just want someone to cuddle and do it with on a regular basis and wake up next to someone other than a complete stranger. im not saying that i have or havent done it since breaking up with L but itd be nice to wake up next to someone whos like a friend ya know. Oh Plus have no commitments whatsoever so we’re free to do whatever we want. But at the same time yea… probably too much to ask for or maybe impossible. because ya know, feelings will develop and stuff and it’ll be complicated?  hah feelings.. feelings are gay. I think im probably asking for too much or maybe im just afraid of commitment. lol what a bullshit excuse hey? haha.

For now, i think just trying to get my life back on track is ideal. got a new job as a wait staff in Boat Quay & Sentosa. yea i got 2 jobs now yay and i start next week! im pretty psyched i hope the people are nice to me. idk about you guys but i simply cant stand being in an office all day just sitting in front of a computer. like holy shit i get so bored im gonna die.i’d prolly just be infusing coffee every few hours. i prefer to interact with people/customers which is prolly why i love being in an f&b / service industry. i like talking and meeting new people and being social. hell im friends with my customers from my previous job at a bar. i loved that job and i loved meeting new travellers(the upstairs of the bar is a hostel) it was cool as. Maybe i shouldn’t be a graphic designer i guess. hmm. but i love design i love branding and identity and advertising and stuff. im horrible at graphics but yea. oh well we’ll see. im graduating soon holy shit!!!! one more semester to go next year and ill be done! 

argh alright i guess i’ve written enough. i cant believe im not in melbourne this year it feels pretty weird to be spending christmas & the new years in singapore. 😦 i miss my mates so much. my fingers are crossed that i can fly back in January for a week. sigh.

well hopefully things will be good again because honestly im starting to feel bad again and i dont really want that. blah. okayyy ciao for now.

X

All Good Things Must Come To An End.

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Dealing with a long distance relationship is not easy. Dealing with a break up is even worse. yea you prolly guessed it, Leigh and i are no longer together.

This whole week has been horrible i am just glad that its monday again so its a whole new week and that i wont have to feel so awful again.

I called it off on Thursday night after having a lot to drink the night before at the exchange with free martinis and Attica club after because it was Wednesday night and it was Ladies night so why the hell not right? Plus Sarah was down from Melbourne so it was twice the fun. That night got me thinking a lot. i haven’t drank so much in ages i prolly had like 10 drinks or something idk.

Anyway, we didnt really end it on good terms at first. Plus we had a really long skype call for like maybe an hour or two that same night at like midnight or something idk. so you can imagine all the screaming and tears flowing down and with a bottle of wine at hand, it was messy.

We initially decided to take a 2 week break because my assessment was coming up and i obviously couldn’t commit to anything else other than that. plus with my phone being taken away for the time being it was very hard to communicate and i had a lot on my plate recently too. like so many problems its really hard to tackle all of them at one go.

We were really good together, we were but some things change as you progress i guess. you expect a lot more and because being in a long distance one, you kinda just needa make extra effort. Obviously, i didnt because its my final year so of coz i kinda didnt have the time to chat with him 24/7 or talk much even and basically spent my entire time focusing on everything else but him. Yea pretty much i was the bitch and corrupted this whole relationship in the first place. Im so sorry Leigh.

He tried his best to give me everything and made me happy and that meant even buying a ticket to UNIFY 2016 and making sure i could come over in January to celebrate his 22nd with him and enjoy unify. He made every effort he could and compromised and prolly sacrificed a whole lot just to give me what i want.

I on the other hand, didnt really compromise anything for him and i guess you could say i was the dominant in the relationship or whatever ya. I didnt make a single effort and so this whole relationship soon became toxic and our honeymoon period was over.

it was getting very unhealthy for both of us and with every relationship it comes with a lot of tender loving care, needs and plenty of communication and texts. I guess i’ve been pushing people away lately too, idk why its just hard to let people in because im afraid theyll leave so ive been pushing everyone i guess. But, He fucked up too on his part as well with a lot of things so we both had our mistakes.

Idk man, with all my past relationships as well i always put my friends first so maybe thats why it always doesnt work out. but yea i had plenty of friends ditch their friends for their boyfriends and i never want to be like any of them ever so maybe thats why? So many issues idk. if someone can please tell me why am i so messed up and scarred over so many past events that never seem to leave that’d be great.

We ended on good terms in the end because he doesnt want anymore bad blood between us and that he still wants to stay friends like how we used to be way before we even got together. This i salute him for because it must have taken him a lot of courage to send me a message to say something like that but it was a very mature and wise thing for him to do.

I mean i know we cant be together now coz we have to focus on us, but maybe we will be again in the future but until then who knows hey.

xx

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Sarah and some chick i met at Attica below.IMG_3186

“Dont let them get to you”

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I havent done a proper blog post in months. and i apologize! My final year has caught up with me and it has been a pretty busy couple of months working on my Design magazine. the topic im working on is Music and i decided to go with the whole “punk” genre. im doing articles like the whole early 2000s thing like what we listened to when we were kids with bands like MCR, panic & fall out boy and stuff plus i also did an interview with a local singaporean band or rather my favourite band The caulfield cult. So im pretty stoked about it. I also got a new tattoo on Friday and this will be tattoo number 6 which is by far my favourite. (ill post a photo and its meaning later at the end.)

Anyway, i went to punk rock gig today which i prolly havent been to a really good one in ages. The Dirt Radicals are one of the greatest punk rock bands in the history of singapore’s scene. Ask any old school punkers and theyll tell you. i saw them in 2011 when they opened for All Time Low & the day after they played at Holland Village for the opening of the circle line. 4 years ago sure was something huh?

they were still incredible live but it was pretty upsetting to hear that this could be their last show ever. 10 years of TDR. hmm.. im not sure what to feel. At least i got to see them again.

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That being said, im not too sure what to feel about so many other things either. A lot has happened lately and an incident which i will not mention here. But things sure have gone ugly since ive left australia. I lost a bunch of friends i didnt know i could lose over something so small. im not sure what i did to deserve this either. it really sucks.

But hey,”Dont let them get to you.” i choose to always see the good in people and my “Friends.” i really do, i never once judge any of them regardless of what happens and always have their backs whenever but today really opened my eyes about so many things and how many friends or rather Fake friends i actually have. So many of you disgust me. Im not saying any australians or singaporeans and mean to pin point at anybody but wow how could i not see this through this whole time? I mean i knew but like i said i choose to always see the good in people. But i give up really. A close friend actually warned me about this and that not everyone is my friend  but i chose to brush it off now i know why.

I dont have a lot of friends i can count on here but the ones i thought are nice or so i thought are actually worth being my friends/close mates disgust me the most. im sure a lot of you talk behind my back too. you guys are terrible. And you tell me to hurry up and move away. oh please you think i dont want to? I would much rather be in Australia with Leigh and coming home to him plus be with actual friends than to be here all alone, listening to all of you constantly whining or being upset that i fly away half the time and “Wasting my money” and asking me to reconsider my life choices. honestly if im happy just let me be please….

Singapore just doesnt quite fit at the moment. maybe when i leave and come back in awhile it will be again, but now it just isnt IT. I’ve never felt so unhappy and i would gladly love to leave for awhile back to Australia or even better, to a whole new different place where i dont know anyone at all and just start afresh in a completely new and different environment without any toxic or negativity in life. That would be lovely because honestly i’ve had enough. Enough drama in my life. A 20 year old shouldnt feel this way at all.  Dad and stepmum if you can read this, please know that i love and respect both of you i really do but im sorry, i cant stand this anymore. once i graduate i need to be away for awhile. please please understand my pain and let me go. thank you.

Well im done with that. Lets move on to my tattoo and the whole concept of it and stuff.

IMG_3011This 6th tattoo definitely means a lot compared to the last few ones.

the first one was the rose(which i think still hurts the most out of them all followed by this one.) which i did a year ago and it Still holds a very deep meaning so i regret nothing.
Followed closely by the 2 halloween flash(a scythe and a dagger) that i did on halloween day last year.
And then the valentines day flash heart tattoo i did earlier this year which also kinda means a little something to me because i was listening to a lot of Joyce Manor and also some other personal stuff.
Lastly Blink-182’s lyrics on my inner arm. (tomorrow holds such better days)

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And finally this one!IMG_3010IMG_3008

I’ve always wanted a ship tattoo and i was thinking about it for quite a while say over a year ago? And now i finally got one! Initially all i wanted was those traditional ships that most of my friends have but i decided to go with something a little different and went with the whole ship in the bottle thing instead.

The idea of it was actually really simple. When i was 12, my best friend at that time introduced a song by this really underground band that no one had listened to before. they were called “The Black And White City” and we all had this emo/acoustic thing going. She had the song “My pretty and her pendulum” up on her blog and when i first heard it i was like wow i love it and was really into it. she mentioned that her brother was the one who lets her listen to all this cool music and till this very day i am so thankful for her brother for always introducing music to her and then to us.
(just realised Omar Espinosa, the rhythm guitarist of the original lineup of escapethefate was in the black and white city and he wrote a couple of songs for them! cool!)

that band later then broke up in 2008 and so did my best friend when we all left for secondary school. she hated it and hated being in a new school and shit environment i guess? So she left the country for Australia. I never got to see her again. ok i did see her a couple of times throughout the years but she was a completely different person. Nothing like the girl i used to know. She moved on to indie music and wasnt the same rock chick i once knew. oh well. i guess people change and people grow up hey? 😦

i guess we all have to someday.

xx

Happy Anniversary to me!

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happy anniversary my dear wordpress blog. it has been a whole year since i documented or well attempted to document my travels. it has been a rough year but ive survived!

Final year sure is already starting to kick in real hard but im sure i’ll push through this one one last time. especially since i have to cope with living by myself-ish now. my domestic helper is no longer around so i have to literally do all the work myself and boy is it tiring. plus my mum is such a lazy bum she pretty much doesnt do much apart from cooking…. but lets face it she cant cook for nuts. oh well.

I’ve also had the opportunity to work as an art teacher however i had to give it up for school purposes today. I gotta say it is a little harsh that i’ve sent them an email saying i really want the job but i didnt turn up for my trial today. god damnit. Oh well, at least now my stepmum and my dad are more understanding and have finally decided to give me back pocket money once again every week so i dont have to work and continue to focus on my studies. thank god so much for this.

Apart from all this, its been a whole week since i left australia once again and man do i miss my boyfriend so much. long distance sucks so fucking much. i told myself to never get into one ever again because they suck and they never work out but here i am in one once again. fml. hopefully this one will work out in the long run. it hurts that we’re apart. i dont have anyone beside me to spoon me or hug me to sleep every night or cuddle me. i feel so empty and all alone in my bed and he feels the same way too. 😦 IMG_1430IMG_2008i cant wait to fucking graduate and get the hell outta here with or without my father’s help and move in with Leigh in his apartment in Cranbourne and cook dinners together plus cute netflix dates and just enjoy each others company. its way better than being here at the moment where my domestic helper isnt around to shower me with love too. plus i get treated fairly like an individual unlike here where everything gets dumped onto me. I dont know what else to do honestly.

IT IS STRESSFUL AND DRIVING ME NUTS URGH.

yea fuck this goodnight

homesick.

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being home sucks.

as many of you know, i’ve been away for the last 2 months in my home away from home(better known as straya the land down under) and i just returned back to singapore on Monday because of school and really wished i didnt.

For one, the only reason i returned was for school and that the first semester of my final year was starting but it turns out if i was to be in aus for another week it wouldnt kill and i wouldnt miss out much anyway. Plus its our nation’s birthday anyway. Fml.

EDIT: YES I promised i’ll come back to you wordpress. see i didnt neglect this!!

where do i start? the last 7 weeks in Melbourne has been crazy. From catching up with mates to going to NEXT and BANG and getting absolutely white girl wasted. yes i did get white girl wasted to the point i can never see straight half the time and whine and sook like a kid. yes that has happened and it was embarrassing as hell. im just glad Leigh is always there to take care of me half the time. i am so thankful for him.

In case you dont know who Leigh is, this guy right here is someone who i’ve been talking to since March/April and i have been seeing him since the time i arrived in Aus and he’s now my boyfriend! yay! i dont think i’ve ever been this happy since me and C earlier this year. Ah yes remember when i was devastated when he left back to Southampton? oh well.

Anyway, i dont think i’ve been so productive on my little getaway. more like all i’ve done was party and eat lotsa junk food.. as you can see from below there are a lot of photos and from different events at next and bang. IMG_1408 IMG_1409 IMG_1410 IMG_1411 IMG_1459 IMG_1461 IMG_1534 IMG_1535 IMG_1536 IMG_1537 IMG_1538 IMG_1539 IMG_1599 IMG_1606 IMG_1607 IMG_1608 IMG_1717 IMG_1718 IMG_1719 IMG_1720 IMG_1721 IMG_1722 IMG_1820 IMG_1821 IMG_1893 IMG_1894 IMG_1895 IMG_1896 IMG_1897 IMG_1898 IMG_1899 IMG_2075 IMG_2084 IMG_2085 IMG_2086 IMG_2087 10985470_10153576952519828_4364831027685593611_n

Of course all partying aside (every thursday & saturday),

i’ve been going for local and international shows as well as bar hopping and trying loads of different foods. Lets just say i can never get sick of burgers in melbourne. they are incredible and alcohol is so much cheaper than water and everything else. LOL

not to mention the recent Australian currency has fallen and the SGD is now stronger! Plus the nightlife in melbourne is just so lively the city never sleeps i tell ya.

a bunch of shows i went to were :

  • In Hearts Wake Skydancer tour with we came as romans, beartooth, storm the sky
  • joyce manor & against me!
  • real friends
  • state champs
  • Prepared Like A Bride Farewell tour with Hand of mercy, vices, glorified
  • Void Of Vision @ NEXT
  • Tigers Jaw

there were probably more but i cbf remembering everything.

took heaps of polaroid photos as well plus celebrated my 20th birthday by having a nice birthday dinner at Grand Trailer Park with great company and lovely friends. The burgers were yum and my brownie with ice cream that jem bought was incredibly huge i shared it with everyone. it was just a nice gathering im glad people showed up.

Alright more photos time!

IMG_1308storm the sky!IMG_1335 IMG_1336 IMG_1338bumped into the dudes from we came as romans in the city omfg and they asked us where was the nearest bottle o. damn.IMG_1342 IMG_1346 IMG_1348 IMG_1351 IMG_1368joyce manor was so much fun!!IMG_1417 IMG_1418 IMG_1426

i forgot to mention i went to the Eureka Skydeck as well! fuckyea finally! and then i had 8bit the next day as well and caught up with Tim. yum IMG_1462Chris bought me oporto and it was one of those healthier yummy burgers. i loved it so much. Thank you Christopher :3IMG_1466IMG_1467IMG_1465One of my best and favourite mates of all time. Chris ❤ ❤IMG_1463IMG_1464Jarryd & Chris!! this was after we played laser tag together. fun times 🙂IMG_1515 IMG_1526 IMG_1572state champs. was all the way at the back so it was all blurry and stuff. it was a goodnight thought with Zac & Mugga & Gem and Leigh!IMG_1589 IMG_1595 IMG_1598 IMG_1600 IMG_1601prepared like a bride farewell tour. Yes i took all these photos!!IMG_1602void of vision!IMG_1544 IMG_1546Louis, my homie from singapore.IMG_1603 IMG_1605yummy lunches with one of my best girlfriends here Eden 🙂IMG_1623 IMG_1624Hand of mercy at the PLAB show.IMG_1650GIANT KING PARMA AT BOBOS DINER IVANHOE ❤IMG_1733broke my san churro virginity. yum.IMG_1741 IMG_1746 IMG_1747BIRTHDAY DINNER AND BURGERS!DSC_6990 DSC_6992 DSC_6993 DSC_6994 DSC_6998 DSC_6999 DSC_7004thanks friends for being nice and coming to eat burgers with me haha.IMG_1774 IMG_1775 IMG_1777 IMG_1778my hot friends and i also went to crown to gamble and drink because they wanted to wear suits ;).IMG_1779i also then bumped into my boys from Mansfield in the casino and they were in the city. it was pretty rad.IMG_1870 IMG_1872 IMG_1874 IMG_1875 IMG_1876 IMG_1879 IMG_1912fitzroy hangs!IMG_1943monkey kingdom beer hmmmmm.

So many photos so little space to cramp into one post haha.

But yea all in all, i had a fucking fantastic time in Melbourne and i foresee myself moving here for studies or for work in the near future.

Oh here’s one more photo for the road.

xoxo, Nat

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BEING HOME SUCKS.