I havent done a proper blog post in months. and i apologize! My final year has caught up with me and it has been a pretty busy couple of months working on my Design magazine. the topic im working on is Music and i decided to go with the whole “punk” genre. im doing articles like the whole early 2000s thing like what we listened to when we were kids with bands like MCR, panic & fall out boy and stuff plus i also did an interview with a local singaporean band or rather my favourite band The caulfield cult. So im pretty stoked about it. I also got a new tattoo on Friday and this will be tattoo number 6 which is by far my favourite. (ill post a photo and its meaning later at the end.)
Anyway, i went to punk rock gig today which i prolly havent been to a really good one in ages. The Dirt Radicals are one of the greatest punk rock bands in the history of singapore’s scene. Ask any old school punkers and theyll tell you. i saw them in 2011 when they opened for All Time Low & the day after they played at Holland Village for the opening of the circle line. 4 years ago sure was something huh?
they were still incredible live but it was pretty upsetting to hear that this could be their last show ever. 10 years of TDR. hmm.. im not sure what to feel. At least i got to see them again.
That being said, im not too sure what to feel about so many other things either. A lot has happened lately and an incident which i will not mention here. But things sure have gone ugly since ive left australia. I lost a bunch of friends i didnt know i could lose over something so small. im not sure what i did to deserve this either. it really sucks.
But hey,”Dont let them get to you.” i choose to always see the good in people and my “Friends.” i really do, i never once judge any of them regardless of what happens and always have their backs whenever but today really opened my eyes about so many things and how many friends or rather Fake friends i actually have. So many of you disgust me. Im not saying any australians or singaporeans and mean to pin point at anybody but wow how could i not see this through this whole time? I mean i knew but like i said i choose to always see the good in people. But i give up really. A close friend actually warned me about this and that not everyone is my friend but i chose to brush it off now i know why.
I dont have a lot of friends i can count on here but the ones i thought are nice or so i thought are actually worth being my friends/close mates disgust me the most. im sure a lot of you talk behind my back too. you guys are terrible. And you tell me to hurry up and move away. oh please you think i dont want to? I would much rather be in Australia with Leigh and coming home to him plus be with actual friends than to be here all alone, listening to all of you constantly whining or being upset that i fly away half the time and “Wasting my money” and asking me to reconsider my life choices. honestly if im happy just let me be please….
Singapore just doesnt quite fit at the moment. maybe when i leave and come back in awhile it will be again, but now it just isnt IT. I’ve never felt so unhappy and i would gladly love to leave for awhile back to Australia or even better, to a whole new different place where i dont know anyone at all and just start afresh in a completely new and different environment without any toxic or negativity in life. That would be lovely because honestly i’ve had enough. Enough drama in my life. A 20 year old shouldnt feel this way at all. Dad and stepmum if you can read this, please know that i love and respect both of you i really do but im sorry, i cant stand this anymore. once i graduate i need to be away for awhile. please please understand my pain and let me go. thank you.
Well im done with that. Lets move on to my tattoo and the whole concept of it and stuff.
This 6th tattoo definitely means a lot compared to the last few ones.
the first one was the rose(which i think still hurts the most out of them all followed by this one.) which i did a year ago and it Still holds a very deep meaning so i regret nothing.
Followed closely by the 2 halloween flash(a scythe and a dagger) that i did on halloween day last year.
And then the valentines day flash heart tattoo i did earlier this year which also kinda means a little something to me because i was listening to a lot of Joyce Manor and also some other personal stuff.
Lastly Blink-182’s lyrics on my inner arm. (tomorrow holds such better days)
And finally this one!
I’ve always wanted a ship tattoo and i was thinking about it for quite a while say over a year ago? And now i finally got one! Initially all i wanted was those traditional ships that most of my friends have but i decided to go with something a little different and went with the whole ship in the bottle thing instead.
The idea of it was actually really simple. When i was 12, my best friend at that time introduced a song by this really underground band that no one had listened to before. they were called “The Black And White City” and we all had this emo/acoustic thing going. She had the song “My pretty and her pendulum” up on her blog and when i first heard it i was like wow i love it and was really into it. she mentioned that her brother was the one who lets her listen to all this cool music and till this very day i am so thankful for her brother for always introducing music to her and then to us.
(just realised Omar Espinosa, the rhythm guitarist of the original lineup of escapethefate was in the black and white city and he wrote a couple of songs for them! cool!)
that band later then broke up in 2008 and so did my best friend when we all left for secondary school. she hated it and hated being in a new school and shit environment i guess? So she left the country for Australia. I never got to see her again. ok i did see her a couple of times throughout the years but she was a completely different person. Nothing like the girl i used to know. She moved on to indie music and wasnt the same rock chick i once knew. oh well. i guess people change and people grow up hey? 😦
i guess we all have to someday.